Novice

Written by Emilee Trudo

There is an art to holding on to morals

while maintaining boundaries

remaining human

Trapeze artist

or glass-blower

something intense like that

I want to love

empathize

support

uplift

the complexity arrives when

those I love hurt me

or others whom I love

tact becomes necessary when

those offenders are “good”

just doing “wrong” or mixed up

wisdom

patience

though

are needed most for those

radiating evil

but the hardest

is when you learn you must fight

fighting with love

with pure good wise intent

is like

painting clouds

when your palette only holds black

I’m often asked to paint portraits of

hope

love

support

many enjoy hanging my presence on their walls

but when you ask me to paint your canvas

after taking my brushes

or charging me for the colors

or laugh at my idea

don’t expect anything other than

a stick figure sketch

or a canvas with a hole

I cannot spend my energy on painting you invisible portraits of what you think you are to me

threaten to take your business?

I’ll plea for that to be a promise

I’ve spent enough creative genius

hours of beating on my craft

to sculpt you something I thought I owed you

I’m done spending energy on the fake hope of creating space with you

creating poetic verses of healing and living

is what I’ll do

stringing words together for moments at a time

till they culminate

to finally paint the picture you kept me from

do not think that you are more than a memory for inspiration