Novice
Written by Emilee Trudo
There is an art to holding on to morals
while maintaining boundaries
remaining human
Trapeze artist
or glass-blower
something intense like that
I want to love
empathize
support
uplift
the complexity arrives when
those I love hurt me
or others whom I love
tact becomes necessary when
those offenders are “good”
just doing “wrong” or mixed up
wisdom
patience
though
are needed most for those
radiating evil
but the hardest
is when you learn you must fight
fighting with love
with pure good wise intent
is like
painting clouds
when your palette only holds black
I’m often asked to paint portraits of
hope
love
support
many enjoy hanging my presence on their walls
but when you ask me to paint your canvas
after taking my brushes
or charging me for the colors
or laugh at my idea
don’t expect anything other than
a stick figure sketch
or a canvas with a hole
I cannot spend my energy on painting you invisible portraits of what you think you are to me
threaten to take your business?
I’ll plea for that to be a promise
I’ve spent enough creative genius
hours of beating on my craft
to sculpt you something I thought I owed you
I’m done spending energy on the fake hope of creating space with you
creating poetic verses of healing and living
is what I’ll do
stringing words together for moments at a time
till they culminate
to finally paint the picture you kept me from
do not think that you are more than a memory for inspiration